Retrace

so i'm not too sure how to interpret your
ways lately
seems like you're somewhat ashamed of me
but i mean who wouldn't be
i'm your greatest mistake, but i was your closest friend
apparently
i'm not angry, just wondering
what it would take for this not to end in tragedy?

here, say the words on this blank piece of paper
you don't even have to stay awake
we'll do all the talking. just open up and smile
and we'll tell you all the right words to say

so much from mute mouths
so much subtle talk of wishes and would be's
what if's and could be's or could've beens
what would've been is naught again
i think, "not again" and walk right out to fall right in
to the same old traps and traces
tryin' to catch up to old habits and paces
and lose track by looking back
but can't, 'cause my neck's become sore by it

life ain't always black and white
sometimes it beats you black and blue
just don't grey up my silver lining with you and your half-truths
you look very small from this distance
and i'm just the invisible elephant in the room

but feelings and meaning don't stop in this silence
they can take away the sidelines but that just spreads the violence
inside a heart cemented round
can't keep the radiation down
'cause you've infected me inside and out
and every glimpse of you is just more poison
and every glimpse of you is what they've hid these joys in

so i'll keep on pretending i'm okay with this great distance
no hate, no hard feelings, and for now no real resistance
just you a hundred miles away on the other side of a wall of holes
and me somewhere else, somewhere out, somewhere wishing to console
you