Sinking

In my little boat I set sail for a safer shore
And far off I saw a separate storm
My boat, Betrayal named,
Is emptying me out
Though filling to the brim within
With my shame and countless doubts

I look down at the oar in my hand
And curse its cutting
The waves that rip and slip
Up beyond the edges of my tiny ship
My sinking sail-less vessel afloat
As bottom-less dreams drive ahead my battered boat

Collapsable, I feel collapsable
As I watch the sunrise through reddish skies
And contemplate the brand new day ahead
Reckless thoughts of holy escapes sinking in and out of my head
And to my foolish and fleeting surprise
Looks like I’ve run out of supplies

Within weeks or days or hours, who knows
A surreptitiously silent storm grows
And whips its wildish waves aglow
In moonlight pale till clouds are shown
Charging as bulls across in sheets
Of blackest night till east, west meets
And I am alone in the sinking and sputtering
Boat blown far from home, and my cold lips muttering,

“I miss that shore more than I miss the air”
As I break at the bottom but don’t find you there
Sick bubbles of blood rise from the edges of my mouth
I am chained to my sunken ship and my last word works out
A glimpsing apology to the land I had left
As I wipe one last tear and take one last breath

And as my drifting eyes close amidst undersea rhythms
A light pierces dimly and a soft smile lullabies this new sleep