Arrowhead

I am an arrowhead

You found lying in the river bed

Etched to shape by battles once fought

Then where the waters rise I'm left to lie

and all my causes lost

How many have fallen by my flight

You held me close then placed me under your pillow that night

Though ancient blood still holds its stain on me

And ages past say I'm the last of my kindred

that caused your fathers to bleed

So It Is

Home is the place you can lay your head when it's bleeding

Friends are those to whom you never really say goodbye

When all you've lost is all you think you might be needing

This road has a way of turning 'round to show you what's been disguised

Right in front of your eyes

It's easier to fall asleep on a well-paved road

Even easier to sink knee-deep when the water's warm

But I have found that drowning can start off somewhat slow

And almost anywhere worth going is on a road that is worn

Though often only so by storms

Callous is a heart that has lived hard yet never learned

Like feet that know how to run but never how to stand

If refined in fire, you can expect you will be burned

But I've found there's more beauty in ashes than in any maiden's hand

Or any well-formed plan

"...the impossible equation"

I think in this imperfect world

I would like either/or

Because experience and observation

Say that both are impossible together

Romance

And trust

Can ruin one another

And one must decide which is more

...worthwhile

Trust can

Make the romance

Seem immature

Or break down the idyllic image

Leaving you with more connection

And less of the fantastic

Romance, then

Is only alive

When it lives on the edge

At the corners of danger and mystery

(With not much thought beyond happily-ever-after)

And of course Sondheim

Was the first to introduce to

This enlightenment

(that some would call cynicism)

In the second act of Into the Woods

When it all falls apart

But even then

The romance is that

They find a way

To keep on

To move on

As if there is a hole

In the soul's great pocket

But there is no hole.

The story is the rocks we've picked up

And the rocks we carry

The weight of those

Is the weariness of age

And how we move under that weight—

The test of wisdom

I do not pretend to know of happy endings

So this is hardly scientific

But from what I've seen

It is a quite elusive system

Which leads to balance

Romance or trust

I'd have either

Have found neither

Don't want any

Except, of course,

Don't we all...

(the cynic troll goes galumphing about

in trousers too tight and shoes that stick out

he never does smile and never does say

"hello" to a friend, but simply "good day")

Fairy Tale Breakdown

They called you a princess from the day you were born

And you cried the day your fake veil got torn

Told you wouldn’t be complete until prince charming came to call

Daddy’s little girl but daddy wasn’t around

And when he was he only ever seemed to put Mommy down

So as soon as you could you found a pair of strong arms in which to fall

But what if it comes tumbling down,

Who are you now, who are you now

Break up and break down

These castle walls are crashing

Can you hear the sound

Of your childhood collapsing around

Relationships like a revolving door

Some would think that by now you’d be getting bored

But you hide the tears behind the pages of the latest bridal magazine

Independence is a dirty word

But you chase after any rumors heard

To put a face inside a suit inside an aisle inside a church inside your wildest dreams

But what if it comes tumbling down,

Who are you now, who are you now

Break up and break down

These castle walls are crashing

Can you hear the sound

Of your childhood collapsing

Or is it all drowned out

By those wedding bells still bashing down

All that you could be

If only you could see

You don’t need prince charming

He’ll give you every line

(I’ve used them myself)

He’ll take up all your time

(You’ll see nobody else)

It’s all inside your mind

(And you're losing yourself)

To this fairy-tale

This is how we’ve failed

All the little girls

By teaching them the lie that they need

A Prince to be King before they can succeed

And go from a Princess to a Queen

Or simply to be themselves and be free

So if you break up and break down

And these castle walls are crashing

And you hear the sound

Of your childhood collapsing

Don’t let life be drowned out

By those wedding bells still bashing down

All that you could be

When you break up and break down

Perhaps that’s exactly what you need right now

uncouth out of necessity

i am the poison that i drink
i am every lie i think
intoxicated on the promises i have made like a dripping sink

better save my breath for breathing
when skeletons are speaking
if i live through the moment then i might actually learn something

but my mouth may be the death of me
and my actions act out fatally
that i have no place among those who live loyally

friend is just another word
for the one who knows your weakness
and will exploit it when it's easier than memory

i would like to start anew
but not with you
you wouldn't want me to

what you want is honesty
because what you need is distance
i gave you the first, you to me the second, and all in one fair instance

now one is the weapon that cut my own hand
the other the noose that strangles itself
entangled and twisted, another's a clown

my story isn't new or cliche
derived from older works like a preachy passion play
but it stays in hearts and minds like some cancerous decay

now dark is the room that surrounds this oft-lit screen
the screams of air-conditioning deflate any sense of serene
and in dreams i see no peace in a light that gleams instead of beams
from the voices of my brothers who have caned like cain and ripped the seams
of any future, i confess a corpse can be a zombie
but your brain is junk food and i don't want none of your spilled guts on me
so lay off with the play-offs like this is some kinda fantasy league
and pay offs pretending mending fences isn't still all about building walls
making nice though i know you thought twice before givin' "your bro" a call
that's why it took you three weeks to finally pick up the phone
but only five seconds to rip years of friendship to the bare bones
while your holmes sits chain-smoking the death of a salesman in walkabout uniform
polishin a pay-check like a badge of honor while declaring the need for my moral reform

so there's a storm brewin if you haven't noticed

and i got one week to get my thoughts so focused

because goals are more than flagpoles and hocus-pocus

i'm talkin' the real deal that steals from geniuses and makes them feel dumb

and then is the one the geniuses turn around and steal from

that decides for once i won't go numb but heel face turn while you burn rubber and run

'cause i've learned a lot in my absence and i hope you have too

but from appearances all you've learned is to forget to be you

but to be true, appearances are deceiving, so i'm needing some kinda clue

what i don't need is a friend who's always on the attack

what i don't need is more drama that says "we're tight" when we're slack

what i don't need is a once leader who turns to scabber like jack

(must we be remindin, though, that in the end davey brought jack back)

what i do need is to lift my eyes and run for the prize

stop bein surprised but simply surmise that some things you say are lies

to love myself and others because life's better and meant to be lived that way

not because of some rhymes devised in a classroom to fool youths away from rude truths on some sunday

to know i was made and have been called for more than just these teenage antics

to recognize that behind the young lies always hide such adult semantics

to look ahead and not turn back, to be amped up and yet not frantic

no need to panic, i love you brother, sister, mother, father, anybody

i've just realized i'm worthless if i keep living like i am a nobody

so somebody out there if you agree than keep this as a soul study

you want life, you must lose it

'cause every status quo must be abused if

it ever violates a life, that's why i choose this

life, liberty, and the pursuit of truth

more than a nation or a movement or a voice of the youth

uncouth out of necessity because the norm has left us doomed and duped

i am the poison that i drink, but the living water is my messiah

i am every lie i think, so i've decided to set my thoughts much higher

sobered by the reality of a world in need of rain, sometimes you must first set it on fire

but in the ashes there is beauty, and the shoot from the stump of jesse is my desire

'cause last words always stain the lips of corpses

so yes, my mouth will probably be the death of me

whether goodbye or hello, i hope that of course it's

love that i'll always speak out honestly

it's usually out of turn, but it's uncouth out of necessity

what i've broken

Did I ever really love you
Did I ever take the time
Did I ever really want you
Or did I just want you to be mine

Did I hold you like a trophy
When I should have held you like a friend
This is my confession, I treated you like a possession
All along, but what I possessed was at best pretend
And now what I’ve broken I can’t unbend
What I have torn I cannot mend

Did you ever really love me
Did I ever really ask
Do these questions even matter
With so much buried in the past

Did I treat you too unkindly
Tell me, did I fail you once again
This is my confession, I treated you like a possession
All along, but what I possessed was at best pretend
And now what I’ve broken I can’t unbend
What I have torn I cannot mend

Two broken people trying to be complete
And we wonder why we both feel so used

Did I ever really love you
Did I ever take the time
This is my confession, you were never my possession
I wasn’t yours, and you were never mine

Bleed

it hurt too much to feel
your embrace was a curse in my state of inertia
headed for a darker end
my best friend was the promises i'd broken to myself
so how was i to notice
the good that could've been
which sounds now in silence
like i'm making some violent excuse
for me for you for her for him for it for this for that
going back, of course, would not be right
and though i don't intend to demonize
our eyes both clear with lines of burning tears
aimed like arrows at the heart of the other
but i don't need another
though to say i didn't want you
would be as far from true
as you are from me now
if not farther
if not darker, then at least, i'll say
my world is a different hue
an altogether separate shade
i realize i'm desensitized
i found out the other night
and i apologize for how much i stole from you
in an effort to play some kind of role for you
i see that ultimately in my obsession
the problem was possession
but i promise i will fight to never be so possessed again
because it's not moving on, but moving over
you're not replaced with some other soul-less face
you were my best friend
i just don't know what that means
you were my true love
i just mistook love for certainty

...alone isn't the worst place to be
it's more like a road than a destination, actually
and i think i'd like to start new too
not for you, not from you, not with you, not of you
thanks to you for the good times
i'm sorry for the bad
we're both to blame
i'm glad you've found a peace
i hope you see you're more than your collection of broken hearts
...alone isn't the worst place to be

...?

Tomorrow's here too early
And I couldn't fall asleep
I lied down last night asking
Who am I supposed to be

As I watch the sunrise
And try to close my tired eyes
Maybe I'll sleep the day away
Would you miss me anyway

Bury It

These are the things that we do to forget
That we try but we can't live without our regrets
But these are the times that I wouldn't trade for anything

Oh these are the steps that I take so the fall
Won't seem nearly as hard when I've given my all
It's worth it I know, but I can't seem to make it alone

I spent my day inside a mask
Trying to make up for my past
I spent all night by a stranger's side
But I felt more like myself than I have in way too long of a time

Bury the counterfeit and I'll
Bury my hopes for some kind of normal life
I'd like to hold my head up high
I'd like to hold your hand tonight