Monday, December 12, 2016

Sewing Wings

She is not a lottery
You can not win her
She is not a game show 
You can not spin her
She is not a fish to catch
There isn't a strong enough net
She's just like anyone else
Who's not like anyone you've ever met

She's not waiting 
In a tower for you
With a bleeding scalp
And wringing hands
She's not writing
Your name next to hers 
She won't know you 
She won't understand

She's not a picture
Time holds her closer than you
She's not a whisper
All your shouting can't undo
She's not a day dream
Or your sweaty fantasy collage
She won't be there in your kitchen 
when you come in 
from the garage

She's not praying
For you before she falls asleep
Breathless, heart pounding
For you to make her knees feel weak
She's not 'round the corner
Or across the aisle when you're on the train
If she's anywhere 
It's where she was going anyway

You're just seeing things
You're just sewing wings
On a flightless bird
Don't count the coins
In wishing wells
While you're hearing things
You never heard 

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Jerry w/ the Red Cup

Staring into space
Over the top of the paper
Like an old vet in a cafe 
Waiting for a key word
So he can speak his two cents
For the first time 
To anyone besides the mirror 
Or the steering wheel 
Or the voice mail 
Of a long lost step kid
‘Cause I’m no expert 
But I mask loneliness
And the fear of eternal darkness
And the best of my life 
Might be behind with
With a quick quip I picked up 
From a pundit
Who’s angry for the ratings
But my angry rantings
Won’t bring my friends back
And this generation 
Is to blame
For not remembering
What I can’t forget
While I forget 
Everything
But the hate
That keeps my heart
Beating hard against the walls
Of reason
Remedy

And cholesterol

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Knock Knock Box

Strip in the rain soaked cardboard
Tape gone slick
Greening spaces
Air pocket
Mud cement
Carnivorous wheels
Pothole destinations
But you're a real person now
You're a real person now
Still holding packing peanuts
In a dry warehouse
I'll sit alley steps
Remember you could be like me
But you're a real person now
You're a real person now
And you stack so fit
You ship next day
Brown corners sharp
Your mind could cut the air
International
Slip off the ends
Left for stoops

Monday, November 21, 2016

͈˝˜ÅÒÍ/ˆ˜/ˇÓ´/ÍÁ (Signals in the Sky)

The world keeps hurting you accidentally 
And we’ve all let you down
No one knows how to love you like you need
But please don’t shut us out 

We’re stumbling in the dark 
We’re pining for a different kind of high 
We don’t know where we are 
We’re all looking for signals in the sky 

When justice is unkind 
When fairness isn’t fun 

When you’re all alone but you’re not the only one

Monday, October 3, 2016

Heads Up

You gotta get your head up
Even when you don't feel strong
And though I know you're fed up
With your life gone wrong
Seems like you've been set up
From the start just to fail
Still you can keep your head up
And you will prevail

Friday, September 23, 2016

Light Trick

I could be immediate
I could be definitive
I could be the lyrical equivalent to winning it
Incinerating your overcompensating ass with wise cracks
‘Cause you’re half-caf and I’m all that and more on max, lightning fast
Packing fat stacks not of cash but of contacts
It’s who you know and I know me so that ain’t half bad, in fact
I could be the sweet and sour to your chicken shit rich kid hitched kicks
What’s the use in shoes you don’t use who are you fooling with all that dickishness
Afflicting our ears with a plague of vague tricks a mile-wide but barely an inch thick
Which never hit on hits but picks which hits to inflict with your shit
Featured like a reboot of a flick that bills a billion but never gets it
So sick of your witless insistence on stickin’ with only what fits in 
Your back account
Amounting to surround sounds that’ve been around since the millennial countdown
Centennial shout-out, ‘cause I’ve got a hundred reasons to get loud now
Shut you out without a doubt I’d be improving the view
Who are you to say you knew who you would be proving it to
I’m just here doin’ the do while your foolish construing ensues
To ensure black and blues meet the eye of your ear
Just peek this beat, yes see here to see, hear, and fear
Your maker has made your case vacant, you’ve been too complacent
I’ll take it, I’ll shake it, break it, then remake it 
I’ll find the lies then finalize new lives on which I’ll stake it 
We know we ain’t shit 
Just idiots who ideate shit
Still stick to sick spits 
Like a whipped whip 
Ya’ll like this and roll with it 
I could be definitive

I could be immediate

Why Does Everyone Hate or Forget Me

Another day done, another night lost
Another week, another month, another year tossed
Into the pot of my experiences and left to simmer
Not swimming just treading water 
Like a hamster with a salt-lick 

I wish you were awake when I got home
Been scratching on my arms ‘cause the walls are too cold
Been empty for a while but my belly’s getting bigger
I’ve got no energy for moving so I don’t get any thinner

I’ve got no more friends just texts not sent
And the world spins on without me 

The only thing I’m good at is getting older 
With as little effort as possible 
Yet it still feels like I’m running up a hill 
Every second I try to breathe

There is no compensation 
You don’t want truth just confirmation
There is no faith to save me
Just the mockery of a manger baby


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Truly Inspirational

Be who you wanna be
Become a you who's somebody new entirely
Make an imaginary backstory for the life you'll lead
'Cause a fresh identity can come so easily
If you just be who you wanna be

My every conversation will
Be truly inspirational
Just invoke and I'll have spoke something sensational
Insatiable will they be
Over me, who's confrontational
But only as I need to be and so fairly
Honest—Why?
Because I won't need to lie
I'll be mysterious even if I've nothing to hide
Not so serious but never on the sillier side
And quite contrary, but never very
Solemn but not scary
Courageous 'cause nothing scares me
Buoyant never, overjoyed though and clever
All together, but never tied, ties never severed only by goodbyes
An all-weather sort of friend, but never just a sort of friend
The sort of friend who'll help you mend, ascend or descend to your level when
You need a shoulder or a tissue, you all will miss me, though if I miss you
Will be a quaint abstraction, though it ain't fashion, I'll be dashing
Flashy but not flashing cash, enacting smash hits without ever clashing
Bashing boredom, never bashful, implored by hoards to teach a master class
Smart but not a smart-ass, though I can be a smart-ass if the mood asks
I'll tackle tasks like a linebacker and hulk smash some graham crackers
Give whiplash to some swell marshmallows who fell in with your candy ass
I'm a prize like cracker jacks, eating apple jacks out of the box for a snack
And finishing it off with some more dope ass s'more slash fics
Take some pics, 'cause this fire's more camp than hot dogs on a stick

Friday, September 9, 2016

An Actress

Used to make out with an actress
On her college dorm mattress
Under the covers, I’d love her 
Hoped the RAs wouldn’t catch us

Practice rooms, we’d be locked in
On the piano, her stockings 
The lights out, as I went down 
Her voice went up a few octaves

We watched the film Moulin Rouge 
She felt like a warm deluge
Play with her hair everywhere
Her breasts and me feel so huge 

We watched the film Book of Eli 
While her body made me high
Wrapped in knots of her body
She made me cum for the first time

Went on walks to the shoreline
Held her hand and she held mine
Took a chance on a glance 
Like looking into the sunshine

Cupid’s a-bomb had hit us
No one ever could get us
Talk the past, see through masks
The future will not forget us

I was too scared of failures
Expectations, I’d fail hers
When is true love not enough
Like passing ships, we were sailors

And all her friends said they hate me
Was lucky she’d ever date me
Can’t disagree, see what they mean
But never cared how they rate me

Like to learn to love myself
I think her love for me might help
But astounded, I found she’s 
engaged to someone else

She hasn’t talked to me once since
I last asked to be honest
Except for when she told me then
How she wanted my constance

I fell in love with an actress
Beautiful, and fantastic
A smart, big-hearted star
Guess I just distracted











Monday, August 22, 2016

Sal the Clown

He's got a can of the cheap stuff
And a barrel on his mind
If you buy him the good stuff
He'll give you his time
To wasted to walk
But what home's there to walk to
When his family's all dead
And he's no friend to talk to

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Treason (No More War)

No more patriotic pride to justify genocide or tyranny 
No more drones dropping bombs on hospitals and families
No more back room deals with dictators or demagoguery 
No more suppressing rights all in the name of democracy
No more parades accompanied by post-traumatic stress disorder
No more mass murder under orders for a flag or a foreign border
No more pre-emptive strikes or fear-mongering fascists
No more drastic acts trying to reenact some glorious past shit
No more pledge of allegiance to an ideal we then nullify
No more talk of liberty while we use guns to pacify
No more talk of loyalty with cult-like jingoistic fits
No more lines between humanity that cross out hope for countless kids
No more racism as policy
No more weaponized sovereignty
No more illusory conclusions that might makes right irrefutably
No more greatness claimed by warriors, for wars not make one great
No more treasonous than reasoning there’s got to be a better way
No more bullets, no more guns
No more whistle blowers on the run
No more tanks, no more bombs
No more officers at the door for moms
No more talk of reality as violent necessarily
No more accepting any acceptable casualties
No more hate based on fear
No more campaigns left to smear
No more assassins, no more spies
No more national secrets or lies
No more dynasties to fall
No more border checks or walls
No more living by the sword
No more jihads to die for
No more treaties to break
No more reluctant handshakes in photographs to take
No more putting up appearances
No more false leads or fakes
No more terrorism
No more ethnic cleansing or racial schisms 
No more divisions for the sake of the tradition of divisions
No more politics that exists solely for the politicians
No more propaganda to draw sharp lines or blur our vision
No more religion preaching mercy and practicing vengeance
No more dismissing pacifism solely on pretensions
No more turning away from the bed that we’ve made
No more little flags on graves and the goodbyes they wave
No more dismissing diplomacy out of hand like it’s a joke
No more spending money building weapons when the schools are broke
No more free-passes when its the rich committing war crimes
No more genocides while we hide behind some hard times
No more excuses for the abuses of our past that last
No more colonization or empire mindsets, in fact
No more super powers as the bullies of the play ground
No more taking up arms to cause harm 
                          when we should be laying ‘em down

No. More. War.



Saturday, July 23, 2016

I Would Scream if I Had a Voice

I was old once, as a child.

Now, I cycle back toward infancy.

The world I encounter is wondrous yet cruel.

Melodic yet noisy.

Distant yet piercing.

Full of concrete abstractions and withering certainties.

And still never full even when crowded.

I would scream if I had a voice.

I would cry if I had eyes.

I would smile if I had teeth. Or maybe bite.

With my nose I would inhale the thinnest hint of memory.

And floating there, find a breeze to carry me onward.

There are no arms left to hold me.

There are no soft toys to hold.

The pictures have bled from book pages.

The lullaby of midnight streets.

Flashes of humanity strobe past the window.

I tap time on keys painted by fingerprints.

I tip-toe over the bodies of past lives.

Each with its own terrified expression.

Posed like mannequins.

Hours after closing.

Decades of shelves holding selves I delve in too deeply.

There is no coming up for air.

There's only the skinned knee.

Powdered pink lemonade.

Swingset splinters.

House home.

Welcome.

Place mat at the table.

Forks and knives.

And time.

To eat the ages.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Genius Generation

When I was a baby, I barely knew anything.

When I was a kid, I wanted to know everything.

When I was a teen, I didn't know enough.

Now I'm an adult and I know too much.

Maybe when I'm old, I'll say I should've known.

And then I will be dead without a thought left in my head. 


Saturday, July 9, 2016

Entropy

I think I met you once
I think I've seen you 'round
I think I know your name
Just can't recall the sound

You're on the tip of my tongue
You're like the rocks by the sea
I think I knew you before
But then you never knew me

I used to pray to God
To be a better son
Was never good enough
He killed his only one

I think I've lost my touch
Maybe already drowned
I think I'll move back east
Forget this gaslight town

I think I met you once
I think you laid me low
I think I'm climbing back
I think but I don't know

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Hollow

There is a gaping wound in me
My chest hollowed out
Carved and scorched round the edges

As all manner of life shifts throughout and around me
I carry this necrotic emptiness

In every halting beat of a vacant heart
In every choking breath of insufficiency

Resounding in waves of unfulfilled longing
No sign of satiation
No spot of satisfaction

Only the absence
Only the wound
Only the whistling corridor
Echoing still a single note

I clawed out my heart
And set it aflame
Passed the ashes to the breeze
Carried to a distant shore
For my love is gone
And I don't need it anymore

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

ART

I saw/heard/felt/smelled/tasted/believed ART

Can I obfuscate as prettily as a blues user
Or am I damned to be a loser choosing excuses for obscurity?

I wrote/sang/sculpted/baked/painted ART

Is it more or less pretentious to pretend without defenses
Or offend as many senses then contend some pent up inner essence?

I fucked/shat/engorged/reviled/ravaged/shredded ART

Is vague for vagueness sake a fugue removed from loose intrusion
Or do shoe strings infuse more truth than gold rings and corporate collusion?

I called/texted/emailed/dm'd/notified ART

Can the violence of our heroes silence ones and zeroes
Or has the success of more is less infected our incessant intersection?

I liked/loved/lusted/longed/lavished/laughed ART

And so...

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Hybrid

Like a crack in the glass
Like a hole in the hull
Like a ghost from the past
Like a blade that's gone dull
Like a bench by the marsh
Like a rock by the shore
Like a turn of a phrase
Like a heart wanting more

I will empty
I will sink
I am haunted
I am pointless
I sit quiet
I stand beaten
I sound hollow
I ache on

Friday, June 10, 2016

Sitting

Sitting at the laundromat
Trying to wash you out my jeans
I'm flipping my last quarter
Wish I could climb in the machine

Sitting in the shower
Trying to wash you out my hair
I'm running out of hot water
Wish I could fog up with the air

Sitting in a dark room
Trying to wash you out my mind
I'm drowning in the silence
Wish I could tape my heart on rewind


Friday, June 3, 2016

Vaguely

You don't owe me
But you must not know me at all
If you think abandonment
Could pass so easily
For self respect, and I

Gotta hand it to you
How can you ever stand to let them
Reduce you to less than you are
They can't understand
What I see so clearly tonight

You are more
Than the flaws that they'd define you by
I'm so sure
That you could be anything

A million galaxies spin
In your eyes
At a higher spectrum

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Flag on Your Grave

I watch on the news as you ship out to prove
That you’re some kinda man
Give the proper excuse for your brainwashed abuse
You’ve got blood on your hands
A hospital bombed, holy war that we’re on
Gotta follow commands
This dictator we set up, guess now we’re all fed up
But it’s part of the plan

And I guess I just don’t understand

More civilians have died, I pray you’re alive
Hold a fist full of sand
You set out to serve, but death got the last word
And they did all they can
How is my freedom saved by the flag on your grave
Hear the guns and the band
And you did what you did for your wife and your kids
By blowing up homes in a faraway land
Now try to make them understand

They don’t show on the news what the winners all lose
Some coins in a cup and the ghosts in your head
The shirt that you wear doesn’t mean you can’t care
Who will sweep up the dust once the world is all dead

And I hope someday, your mind finds release
You can call me naive but I still hope for peace
We’ll let go of our hate and we’ll reach out our hands
And at least for today, I’ll try to understand

For A Reader Who Probably Won't

There are no simple people
But we let our simplicity be enough
Not just in roles but in the holes in our story
"Assume no one cares and you'll have less to worry" 
Even if it's not true
The truth is just a tool 
And no one's been building 
Even now just storm shelters
And what I miss most is not missing you
When you were there and so was I 
And there are no simple peopl
But we try 

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Noisy Nostalgic

Maybe we could talk like we used to
Through clues infused in verse
Like a sieve of reprieve
Whenever we assumed the worst

Maybe we could meet like we used to
One piece at a time
Eyes for hearts from afar
Or brush your hand by mine

Maybe we could live like we used to
But older now, wiser
I would be more open
And you’d have nothing to fear

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Phantasm, Side: B

I’ve been waiting on a windowsill like I got a cup of bad luck and some time to fill
Some brain cells to kill
I’m satiating cravings with contagions and confusing conversations, will
You please help me, I’ve grown a conscience
It seems to be telling me to ignore common sense
And pretend I’ve still got relevance tied up in the back 
Like some cat who owes me two pence
And I’ll spend my hours like a credit card
Like I spent my childhood in somebody else’s backyard
I’ll rack up a debt of regret that I’ll aim to forget
And I’ll miss and then hit on some awful intent
My incentive is fainting like goats who are scared
I’m more unprepared than me at the front of class in my nightmares
I’m so selfless it’s selfish, I’m un-self-aware
Like a circle describing corners to a square
I can’t even get there where you are 
I’m too near, you’re too far
I’m too weird, you’re too scarred
I’m talking to myself again
When will my shelf-life end
Hey, can we still be friends

After I go incorporeal?

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Abusive Geometries

It's a crick in my neck
An itch, a stitch that keeps pulling
Loose threads in my head
The base of my skull pounding
Sounding like static
Automatic panic
Aching pain
Straining my ears to hear some
Numbing calm
I'm a time bomb
Tick, tock, twitching trigger finger
Creaking floorboards
Too loud to ignore
Too now to be forewarned
Scorned by spooks
Phantom limbs
Enwrap my throat
Entrap my scope
Ropes for walls
Pulling all jagged thoughts
Ragged wants
Holy hunts
Who does prey pray to
When hounds wear halos?

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Little Balloons and Lit Candles

Maybe you and I could find the time
For just the two of us to someday
If that's okay
But for now, here's your present
and a card I made myself to say
Thanks for the invite, liked the music
And a night out, I sure could use it
I'll see you later, and well I
Hope you had a nice birthday

Oh yes, I am introverted
I've exerted all my energy to prove
No you've not got my feelings hurt, it's
Not some new bad attitude
I don't need to meet new people
Though I know you want me to
Just because I left the party
Doesn't mean it's 'cause of you

People are like cakes
There can be layers inside of us
Some like it plain, some like it fancy
Some with ice cream or with nuts
But the one thing that remains the same
In all us cakes, remember thus
No matter how nice the frosting looks
That's what you can never trust

Little balloons and lit candles
Don't get too close
Don't fly too high
Blow them up and blow them out
And cut the cake, hold tight the handle
Make your wish and share a slice
And say goodbye

Friday, February 12, 2016

Coast Virgo Copter Rock

There's a point in this lonely nightmare
Sharp as a tack on a map
In the middle of the ocean
And a bit to the left
Wherein my dreams feel more full
Than waking life
Real or not
The illusion is marked by its population
The Sandman's space by its weight
Heavy lids like swinging doors
And barren mornings
What a life, so dull
Even drudgery cuts
Kills.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Inclement Forecast

I can't stop caring
I can't stop loving you
Maybe you wouldn't treat me this way
If you still cared too

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Songwriter, Poet, Heretic