Leaves of Thought

Let us while away the hours

Let us waste the day away

Let us pluck the wild flowers

Leaves of thought that lead astray

Let us tarry not too long 

Lest plans may form from out the wild

Let us carry out our song

Like widowed wife or newborn child

Let us tack up every whim

Like misinformed malcontents

Let us rejoice in every sin

Let humor be our recompense 

Let us be called generation

Let our apathy and lust define

Let us shake loose all foundation

Let’s get drunk on pixel wine

Let us sit beside each other

Let us hide in the dark alone

Let us buy ourselves another

Leaf of thought to build our throne

Let us bleed in desperation

Let us sew the emperor’s clothes

Let us fall to expectation

But never, ever let us hope

Let us hope and we will smite you

Let us dream and we will rise

Let us build and we’ll break right through

Leaves of thought that blind your eyes

Let us learn and we will conquer

Let us ask and we will know

Let us seek and we’ll move onward

Leaves of thought to reap and grow 

I Love You, He Said

...in the sense that random scraps of paper entice me because they exist in a world where you could potentially write on them.

...in the sense that I weigh every possible implication and consequence of calling you and just before I hit send still have no idea what I'm going to say.

...in the sense that the air in the room feels different against my skin when you are, may be, or have been in it.

...in the sense that I have a hard time trusting people, and you could absolutely ruin my life if you wanted to.

...in the sense that you probably already have ruined my life, and that's perhaps the best thing that's ever happened to me.

...in the sense that I want to tell you a secret that might make you hate me.

...in the sense that if I bump into you today, I'd like to think I'd recognize you, but even if I don't it won't stop me from loving you.

...in the sense that I don't really know you, andbutso I want to.

...in the sense that "I love you" has become a cliche placeholder for selfish romantic desire and all I really want is to sit with you here while life happens around us and then get up and be a part of life happening but, yknow, together, except that's all still about what I want, and really who cares what I want, because...

...in the sense that what do you want?

My Situation

You know my situation
You don't know my story, but
You know my situation
I could be anyone, but
I'm me
You don't know me, but
You know my situation

Easy enough when I'm
A nuisance,
A nut,
A non-entity,
Or worse—
A novelty.

Look me in the face sometime
And tell me again how there's no place for me
No, really, tell me what you mean
If you can speak to me at all
I'll write, I'll call
You'll transfer me so cordially

But I'm far too rich to be poor
And yet too poor to be manageable

I fit inside the miscellaneous bin
The lost and found at the end of the semester
Right between the gym sock and the retainer
Can't donate me or donate to me
Not that I want charity
But I do get hungry sometimes
And it's safer inside at night, yknow

So when you're kind enough to buy her that water bottle
That says it helps bring clean water to African children
And as you're handing it down to her, she says she doesn't want it
She has the audacity to refuse
On the grounds that the company is lying
And you storm off, thinking how arrogant she is
To reject your kindness, your money you spent on that bottle
Only to find out online that she was damn right about the company
And if only you had known, you wouldn't have bought it
But what did she know
You didn't know her story, but
You knew her situation

Like you'll know mine
When you see me across the room
Still wearing clothes I brought from before
Typing on a laptop I got as a gift
Driving a car I didn't buy myself
Sitting in your cafe like I have something worthwhile to be doing
Using up your space and your air-conditioning and your free wifi
Well, I guess I
I'm sorry
I'll just get out of your way

Because I know you know my situation
When public space becomes "your way"
And people like me are secretly "someone else's problem"
Instead of just people

So don't ask me about my situation
You know my situation, but
You don't know me

'Cause man, I'm just people

Tip of My Tongue

I'm trying to spit your taste out of my mouth
With a tongue that's cut like leather to let the stuffing waft on out
Trying to iron out the wrinkles and fill in all the cracks
That run the twisted sidewalks down which I can't turn back

So I stumble into traffic amidst swerving conversations
Bisecting what was said from what was pure imagination
Or those perfect almost moments when your stare stung to my marrow
And the tightrope that I walked with you somehow began to narrow

Your shaking head on my breathless chest
In restlessness you reinvest
Then re-suppress to my duress
And dress it up with emptiness

Till farewells fade and all that's stayed
Is staid for you and a blade for me
To cut this leather like effigy
And burn the stuffing that's nothing but bluffing
Playing at longing
Masking the moments
That will always matter
That will
Always
Shatter
That will
Always
Sit on the tip of my tongue
Not spat
Nor swallowed
But held
Precarious

To Catch a Mouse

The hawk rocks nervously back and forth
Spreading shaky wings
To gauge the wind
On a power line
Downtown

The gates swing wide then shut
And her eyes, this city girl
Watch in horror
As he slides
Death's descent
To catch a mouse

Verisimilitude.

Mend (lyrics)

Did I ever really love you

Did I ever take the time

Did I ever really want you

Or did I just want you to be mine

Did I hold you like a trophy

When I should have held you like a friend

This is my confession, I treated you like a possession

All along, but what I possessed was at best pretend

And now what I’ve broken I can’t...

Did you ever really know me

Did I ever really share

Any part of me that really mattered

Would you have even cared

Did I hold you like a trophy

When I should have held you like a friend

This is my confession, I treated you like a possession

All along, but what I possessed was at best pretend

And now what I’ve broken I can’t mend

It’s always two broken people trying to complete each other/ always left with missing pieces looking out for just another/ and we wonder why no one seems to stay in love together/ It looked so healthy in the sunlight but so sick in stormy weather/ maybe it’s better without me and my significant other together/ but right now I’m thinking of all the ways I could’ve-should’ve loved her better/ yeah, maybe she’s starting to move on, without me right by her side/ when all we had was good intentions and cliches to get us by/ I can still remember the way the tears fell from her eyes/ and I still hope there’s more to love than all these Hollywood lies (I’m singing)

Did I ever really love you

Did I ever take the time

This is my confession, you were never my possession

I wasn’t yours, and you were never mine

remnants and redundancy

The city lights dilute the night
And we both look so small inside
With dreams bigger than both of us
And no idea who we can trust

From about a thousand miles away
We speak with words that we can't say
Of what we'd do to make a change
And what we'd change to make a way

The Dog of the Month is Named Entropy

The empty inescapable
The potent irreplaceable
The hoped for ineffaceable
       ecstatic inspirational

Confound me oh desirous manifestations
I stand on the edge of the infrastructure
Make a living to keep on living
Not really living, not really giving much
Of a care, or to art, or to hope for

One day in, barely,
And honestly, I can't stand it

Don't tell me I need to be a part of your world to change it
Don't tell me I'm not a part of your world
Simply because its ills don't kill me
Its ills still ill me
Just don't quite thrill me
Though they might still be relevant
As means, not ends

More or Less

I'm more than empty, I'm more than lost
I'm utterly vacuous and tempest-tossed
I'm more than vacant, I'm more than scared
I'm entirely unoccupied and unprepared

I'm more than questions, I'm more than doubts
I'm starting to walk like one who went without
I'm more than present, I'm more than past
I'm something unaccomplished that may yet still last

I'm more than rhythm, I'm more than rhyme
I'm the space between your logic that beats out of time
I'm more than drinking, I'm more than food
I'm the bleeding beggar, becoming bitter and rude

I'm more than apathy, I'm more than unfair
I will smile in a tragedy, and cry like I was there
I'm more than a dreamer, I'm more than a fraud
I will storm out of your chapel just to catch a glimpse of God

I'm more than a hypocrite, I'm more than a fool
I will break every commandment, and make up an empty rule
I'm more than a sinner, I'm more than the fall
I'm only a human, and sometimes I'm barely that at all

I'm more than the moment, I'm more than heresy
I'm something like an answer that is not yet clear to me
I'm more than frightened, I'm more than poor
But not enough to matter to the crowds that I adore

Oobleck

The inconsolable soliloquy
Of unrequited desire
Seemingly infinite in its destructive scope, is
Yet meticulously precise with
Nostalgic resonance.

It is a strange twist
That such devoted focus on
Another
So often becomes
A most viral
And corruptive force of
Purely narcissistic
Ends.

That I would look on
The shape of another's
Character
And only see the missing piece of
My own puzzle
Is not Love,
Though for some accursed  reason
We keep calling it so.

No,
Love is a non-Newtonian fluid,
And as such, when forced,
Will put up such a sternly determined and
Dedicated opposition
As to rival and perhaps even mimic or become that
of hate's great walls.

However,
With time, patience,
A gentle hand, a listening ear, and
Some subtle skill,
There is a welcoming gesture
To be found
In Love,
As that given unto a
Long-awaited friend.

Love can love the builder of a wall,
But Love will not break through that wall,
Save for the builder taking it down
Brick by stubborn brick
In purposeful reply
To Love's whispered beckoning
From across the other side.

So
Love loud but not in yelling.
Love strong but not in forcing.
Love fully but not in possessing.
And
Love recklessly but not in ignorance.
Love fearlessly but not without trembling.

For it is dangerous to try and
Walk this road alone, but
It is far more dangerous
To forget that
We don't have to.

(And that inconsolable soliloquy
Is perhaps your line
In a much broader chorus.)

Constitution Hall

Somewhere under the train tracks 

There is an old hat waiting for change

Like Brian, who’s holding his sign and

Hoping you’ll find in your heart to look his way

And you can ride from the suburbs to the city

On your way to Constitution Hall

You came to see the cracks in Liberty

And ended up missing them all

Needles, just two for a dollar

Yells the mom with her daughter running beside

But the city looks so clean and pretty

When you ignore all the gritty truth that’s inside

And you can ride from the suburbs to the city

On your way to Constitution Hall

You came to see the cracks in Liberty

And ended up missing them all

Somewhere by the delaware river

A child will shiver without a coat

While by the fire we’re warming 

So this song is a warning

But also a chance for life and for hope

Oh Philadelphia