Street Signs

I want to walk the roads of your mind
Take a picture of every street sign
Cross the line into the undefined and then lose myself and go blind
I want to wander like a lost child in a department store
Through your emotions and memories and into your very core
I want to not come out till I know you more
Than I ever have in passing, than I ever thought possible
Than I ever could in any instance before

I want to taste the flavor of your every thought
Savor the scent of what others have not
Dared to delve into in the shadow of your hopes and your dreams
I want to be a symbiotic force that faces plain your necessities
I want to hold your inner child and sing it a lullaby
I want to see through your eyes and calm you before you even cry
I want to laugh at the inside joke that only you know
So you never have to feel unfunny or alone
I want to hold the electric current that makes your empty hands shake
So that they are always held and your heart won't have to break

I want to revisit all those places in your past
When you felt abandon and like good things never last
I want to be the voice that whispers gently "you can make it through this"
When all other voices were telling you that you can't do this
I want to know how you felt when you met your first best friend
When you lost your first tooth, when Santa's run came to an end
I want to be there when the fear was running in
So I could kick it in the shin and let you know that you can win

Then maybe all those times you've told me about the pain
'Caused by guys who cared less about you than getting their own way
Could be swayed to times of hope, a light more than a flame
But really though...i'm not saying I want you to change

I just want to see you truly, to help you where I couldn't
To be for you what other folks you trusted always wouldn't
If you think I don't love you the way you are, you really shouldn't
Because you're the most amazing person I know
And if I was to walk down those roads, y'know where I'd go
I'd go straight to your heart, and I'd plant there a rose
With a note on the stem that said something about love, i'm sure
But mostly just to reassure you that i'm there...and i'm yours

3am Forever

It’s 3am as the waves come in
They’re both thinkin the same but no one is sayin
What he wants, what she needs to convey
In a breath, he thinks her smile is intoxicating
He wants to wipe her tears away
Or let her cry on his shoulder

She hopes the moment could always stay
Hold your breath, it’s almost over

He reaches out a shaking hand
And she holds it tightly, together they are strong
He leans in and kisses her lightly
This feels so right though they both know it might be wrong
He hope he can say someday it was worth it all along

They both face retribution in their own ways
Consequences of making a relationship and breaking another
Then follows the silence and misery’s dividing line
The weight those two breaking hearts are under

He thinks to himself “What have I done...
“I’m a ruiner and bad little broken man.
My friends are gone and the girl I love
Is with a guy who’ll never her talk to me again.

Why did I reach out that clumsy hand
Thinking she’d hold it tightly? For a moment I was strong
I leaned in and kissed her so lightly
It felt so right but of course it was wrong
I hope someday I might be able to say it was worth it all along.”

She’s breakin down, lost in pieces on the ground
Can’t be found inside himself, her art, her bleeding heart
In lines that she writes him, though her boyfriend, it ignites him
Sayin’ she’s not worth the attention he pays her sometimes
And he still wonders why she so trusted some other guy

She’s got to get out
The happiest moment in a long time was when
The man of her dreams let his guard down, and

He reached out a loving hand
And she held it shyly, never felt so strong
He leaned in and kissed her so rightly
Never felt so right, like she truly belonged
If she can find a way back to her arms, she knows
It’ll be worth it all along

He waits outside her door
As she pours her heart into broken glass
And drinks down her heavy thoughts slowly
The overflow leaks
Through pen and page
Left for another day, captured in key strokes
Like a digital serenade

He hears her voice far away and it frees him
He calls out, one heart to another
He holds out his hand, she takes it with that intoxicating smile
Together they are strong and both know they belong
And it was worth it all along

an abode to abide by

there’s a burning smell in the basement
and a scratching at the door
there’s a hollow sound in the hallway
that wasn’t there before

there’s a whispering echo in the attic
and the floors have all started to creak
the doorknobs are turning themselves these days
and the walls have learned to speak

the faucet in the kitchen is twisting
till the water shoots out like a jet
and the drops that drip from the shower-head
are barely enough to get your nose wet

the carpet in the foyer is browning
and the dust on the mantle is glass
I shattered it last night with a hammer
but the rock below had all turned to ash

the keys hanging up on an old hook
are starting to look all the same
and just above the number on the mailbox
is lettered out some other folks’ name

so i hide in a box in the corner
of the empty room just down the hall
and i hope they don’t return from vacation too soon
because this house has gotten far, far too small

Diligent, Pessimistic Idealism

I was chasing after the wind, but in my sorrow I begin
To see the futility within, I am truly nothing now
It’s all breaking down, breaking

Gone to bed, gone fishing in
A bigger pond than I can swim
Gone over my head in the undertow
Where I’ll wash up nobody seems to know
I guess I could say I gave all that I’ve got
Failure in this world, maybe the next is worth a shot
I guess I could say that I could’ve done worse
Buried myself so deep, don’t bother renting a hearse
I guess there’s always nothing left to give
But I’m too selfish for that

No wait, I'm not
Someone else took that hat
They've been wearin it out
With my initials on the tag
I'd like to sue them for it
But the paperwork could be a little messy
'Cause they look just like me

I was me once this week for about ten minutes
Lost it in a second, but I'd gained it in an instant
So who am I now to reconcile this dysfunction
Call me out, call me out, and then file an injunction
'Cause I will, yes I will, cause harm to this intruder, this false face
I'll rip his heart out of his chest and feed it to him on a paper plate
Then microwave his brains till they explode into black rainbows
(You better wear a hazmat suit; it's ugly when a brain blows)
I'm not kidding, I'm so serious, I'm sweatin it
The color of a life with too many regrets in it

I have to do this now, I will stand up before these witnesses
I scream in all their faces, you have no idea just what a witness is
Your majesty, your crown is made of plastic
Mr. President, your house is built on coke
If you ask me why I'm angry, you'll be so sorry that you asked it
Because I'll tell you the answer, I did it all for hope.

Bleed it, b-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed it
B-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed
B-b-bleed it or die trying
Bleed it, b-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed it
B-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed
B-b-bleed it or die trying

I'd rather die living than live dying

Carboniferous

Tragic as the ocean air
As the tide goes out for the last time
He stands by the cliffside where
He can still hear her voice in his mind

On the wind, it begins...

Go to the meadows with her love on your lips
The path, it is smooth, but you'll prob'ly still trip
Her tracks are all fresh, but they're easy to lose
And her crime, it is clear, but still harder to prove

Swift as the howling storm
Rolling in on a small cave there out by the sea
To find his old love so starving and worn
But the law, it demands that he not set her free

On her chains, shining tear stains...

Go to the gallows with his love on your lips
Take care of the stairs, in the rain you may slip
The noose around your neck, with betrayal's harsh touch
But you look out and see him and still miss him so much

Bleak as a graveside
With no name to bear
He stood by the cliffside
And spread his arms to the air

A pocket of gold for the weight of his soul...

Go to the shadows with her love on your lips
The last name you say before you step off the cliff
Is the government's glory worth breaking her heart
The worth of your own to be a free man with chain-link scars

Paraboloid

These silent walks in the rain
Passing faces in cars that soon look away
Traveled miles to see if I could be sane
But I'm thinkin' maybe it's drivin' me crazy
Livin' here without you

As cathedrals of clouds roll in over my weary head
Slowly wake from a dream of you as if i'm risin' from the dead
When you smile at me, I think of all the better guys you could have instead
But I'm thinkin' maybe it'd be drivin' me crazy
Livin' here without you

I don't want to run into your arms
If I'd hurt you with a touch
But I could hold you forever if you let me
'Cause I miss you so much
You can hate me all you want
But you love me still with all you are
With a love that conquers every strand of loneliness
In my slowly mending heart

Calamity 2011

Don't tell me
This was meant to be
Some kind of sanctuary
Haunted by the children of the skull
Skin as pale as ashen snow
Eyes that bleed like shadow
Lips that whisper all the words you don't know
To a song sadly intolerable

Confide inside the violent
Shaking walls quick and silent
Reflecting a bit of light your eye lent
With increasing interest as the distance grows
Between where my heart learned
How to beat and how to yearn
And where I now ache and burn
Collapsing chest, my breaths grow weak and cold

Golden string, stronger than iron rope
Captivate a consciousness of my hope
As my world of dreams and waking run off and elope
Like all these bricks, just twitching fingers to crack
Interlocking intermissions lead to breathing
Intoxications of sunlit cement still seething
Your silence and your sighing, they say, don't mean anything
But the space between words is often much harder to take back

Collapsability

Starving to breathe
And still I can't see a thing
Too many see me as the bad guy
With wide open eyes
Can blame be only in the placing
Step back and trip up
Words are a crutch for a covering
The dark side of every smile
What hides behind perfection's stare?

Oh moon, does your sister love her own?
The star is a demon and her lover just a phantom of
Some haunting words you'll soon forget.
Adulterous star that scrapes the tiles
Claws that caressed the heads of babes
Grown into children of the skull
Running amidst the fallen fortress
Closer to home than we'll admit
And daylight can't come soon enough

Run faster through the fields, my love
Run faster toward your home, my sun
Sol to my soul, you sing words that are weeping
The clouds of your bedside where heartbeats keep beeping
And heartbreak is seeping and times we were keeping
All memories are forest floors and stages
On which we paraded a different love

Halfway there, I'm halfway gone
Some parts right, but mostly wrong
Almosts and what-ifs fill up this empty pack
That weighs me down and wears me out
Hanging loose over my slouching back
Under attack by misunderstandings I don't doubt
I'd rather run far from the shore
Than watch you wave and raise another sail
Yeah, I watched you break it, but I can't take it anymore
Don't wanna be just another footnote for your fairy-tale