Spacious Skies

“Spacious Skies”
Hey big brother, are you my big brother?
growin’ weak
are you my big, big brother?
gettin’ hungry
are you my big, big brother?
sick and tired
are you my big, big brother?
all alone
are you my big, big brother?
far from home
are you my big, big brother?
i’m a slave
are you my big, big brother?
as i starve
are you my big, big brother?
as i die
are you my big, big brother?
you are strong
are you my big, big brother?
you are fat
are you my big, big brother?
you are rich
are you my big, big brother?
you are silent
are you my big, big brother?
you ignore me
are you my big, big brother?
i am screaming
are you my big, big brother?
you do nothing
are you my big, big brother?
so much blood
are you my big, big brother?
so much pain
are you my big, big brother?
so much loss
are you my big, big brother?
count the cost
are you my big, big brother?
is it too high
are you my big, big brother?
it’s okay
are you my big, big brother?
i’ll die quietly...

(Verbs Hurt Too Much)

A lonely heart unexpectedly
Miraculously, disastrously
Till, in memory, her eyes so influentially
For shadows in the rain
Like a cyclone
and there of a refrain
Most repeatedly
Into the emptiness
A journey of steps
Forever in monotony
Behind the up and down
Reflections of a better life
And a bitter death
Gratuitously
Waves upon a shore
Experientially more

Seasons of Today

I don’t want to be
Just another falling leaf
Just another drift of snow
Just another springtime rain
Just another sunburn’s pain
To itch and peel
Till the breeze makes your shoulders cold

Yet today and for this season
My love, I’m running out of reasons
What is right and what is smart
What is hurt and what is art
What is real and what emotion
How I feel like smashing clocks of late
Till time and memory fade to a more literal violence

Go and grab your coat
The sun comes out with the winds of change
And even in agreement
The blood on my hands knows just who to blame
‘Cause every single time it rains
I still see your tearstained face

So today and for this season
I have no answers and no good reasons
What is nice and what is true
What will help and what will hurt you
Where is hope and why so cold
How I feel like burning these hands
Where your grips sweet scent lingers on

There’s a sunrise only hours away
And your eyes will clear of tears and pain
This empty shell I walk around
Will find its place in a brand new town

But today and for this season
I’ll hold on to these, the “right” reasons
What is love and what is pain
What does it take to bring about the needed change
Who is God and who am I
How I wish this was all just a bad dream
‘Cause you were my dream come true and I already miss you

Love Letter

Open up these cold, golden doors
Your towers built high enough to ignore
That heaven ain’t a place like this
Or much of the things you’ve probably known before

See that carpenter’s kingdom is
A bit more like something you have missed
As you pass by the poor and brokenhearted
Running to your worship services

Talks of religion leave out what your founder said
Of orphans and widows, too busy waiting till your body’s dead
With your mind on the riches of a world up there
To notice the face of Jesus here in these tattered threads

And is it such a burden to carry out this name
To live and die to ourselves much more than worth the pain
But in all honesty, you can keep your inerrancy
It’s not of God but of you I’m so ashamed

Tell me what discipleship means
A baptism in symbolic blood or just my pipe dreams
Because you say I’ll follow this right off a cliff
And my faith requires me to heartily agree

So leave behind your cold church walls
The old is gone and dead, watch it fall
And it’s not our job to be cool or be right
But no matter what to just love all

And if you should choose to stay the same
To hold tradition high and damn all chance of change
While the whole world cries for the keys you hold
To our Father’s doors so locked, and we’re the only ones to blame

The Right Way Wrong

You’re the reason I try and stay away
From bright lights and unnecessary fights
I keep inside and wait up the long nights
You’re the reason I am never okay
Still awake a couple hours past midnight
Holdin’ onto to memories that never really sat right

And who knows maybe all these dark clothes
Are simply a passing phase
And who knows maybe one day
I’ll forget those, those days, I must be crazed

I don’t want to be the one to turn out fine
I don’t want to be the one to leave you afraid to live your life
I don’t want to see you somewhere and only be able say
Is everything all right? and have a nice day

Our perspectives shift like parallel lines
Never intersecting but still running at the same time
Your eyes blinking in my mind so slowly, I see you
In photographs I remember not taking
As our hearts were still making up their minds, their minds

And who knows maybe it’s just one of those
Pretty things you grow to count as naught
And who knows maybe one day
I’ll believe those, I’ll believe lies I’ve bought, they’re all I’ve got

I don’t want to be the one to grow up fast
I don’t want to be the one to sell out to this illusion that all these empty things last
I don’t want to hear you somewhere and not have the spine to say
That your voice made and broke my heart for countless hours of countless days

You were years to me, you were years to me in minutes
You were years to me, you are years to me in seconds and memories
I can’t let go, though I try, I can’t let you go, don’t know why

I don’t want to be the one who let you slip away
I don’t want to be the one who didn’t know what to say
I don’t want to be the one who settled for a cliche
I don’t want to be the one who let you think this was okay

I’m not okay, I’m not okay, I’m not okay, I’m not okay

Holiday

An epitaph abysmal
The drowning weight
On grassy plains
Your secret plans devour
Intolerable steps
The sinking call
Of fading eyes
Your reminiscence found
A new impression made