At Arms Length

Fire off your mouth 

A shot across the bow

The chauvinist who goes ballistic 

So insistant, self-inflicted 

I wait for the blow, to undergo a show of our strength

Force will take the poll, we keep the whole world at arms length

Collecting shells upon the sand 

We set our sights for foreign land

And breathe the burning powder 

As we wait for tides to change 

Plunging in only arms deep 

The blood of ages, widows weep 

And measure down the barrel 

Pray for pain to test our aim 

Don’t tell me they don’t kill 

When all these people will 

Not a day goes by and still 

We’re shaking with the thrill 

Of burning holes to drill 

With bullets, blood to spill

Overture

I’ve been told there are those whom you love and those that you leave

And mostly I fall on the latter half of these 

Okay, let’s admit it I fit quite adequately 

In the category of those you’d do well to forget or flea 

But I can’t be okay as the mistake you might say 

You only made on your way to something better

A moment of bliss that’s maybe missed but won’t matter

A friendship that bloomed but was always doomed to fail

A ship full of dreams shared but now long-since sailed

I don’t want to be just a footnote to your fairytale 

I don’t want to be just another long-lost lesson learned 

A bridge long burned, a fork you turned and never looked back

I’m losing track of the facts in the case of those who stabbed mine when I had theirs 

And I’m starting to be scared that my judgement is highly impared 

Though it’s certainly not all your fault or really all mine either

It’s just that I am most commonly the common denominator and besides, there’s

So many people who seem to find happiness everyday 

It can make one wonder if maybe I just don’t work that way 

Is my acquaintance just one of those steps that you’ll take 

On the path to a promised happily ever after 

So you can laugh it off someday so glad you avoided that disaster 

Whether it’s a matter of fate or if I’m my own life-line’s master

The universe is happy either way to watch me fail 

And end up as just a footnote to your fairytale

He and I

He's what you might call offensively attractive
I'm what you might call defensively unattractive

Like an athlete, his effort is obvious and yet inexplicable,
results uncontainable
Like a cut from shaving, my effort is accidental and ordinary,
results embarrassing

He's something carved, sharp and particular, a masterpiece with a garnish
I'm something discarded, sloppy and porous, burnt around the edge of the pan

It is a joy to be swept up in his entrance
It's a relief when I'm not there

He lives in the moments he colors with confidence
I'm still dripping with the stink of childhood mistakes

He's got something good to say
I blink in awkward silences

His arms can hold you, let you know you'll be alright
You don't wanna shake my hand if you can help it

Everyone I know is madly in love with him
And I am too

Gradations on a Fake Wooden Table

Nothing matters less than I guess right now
I do
I don't
I won't care if you never talk to me again
I dare you to
I lied, I care
I will always care
Overshare
I know
I don't

Simple Man of Modest Means

Simple man of modest means 

Rolls up his shirt sleeves

Dreams of counter culture, scrolling the job listings 

Leans back for the vultures, rolling tongue, teeth glistening

Who’s listening? 

There’s a scratch in the glass in front of his left eye 

And a note he’s rubbed raw in a frayed denim pocket

There’s two sides to every coin he’s stretched 

And more than I’ll ever know of love, he’s already forgotten

Simple man of modest means 

A stack of paperbacks in the back seat 

Sleeps in parking lots, plays guitar in parks at dawn

Keeps a growing list of thoughts he can no longer rely on

Brain or brawn

There’s a hole in the wall just big enough to see through

And a resume with aging names and numbers

There’s a new scar or two on his wrist since he last slept

And some songs on his chapped lips that itch for words 

Simple man of modest means

The winters smell like gasoline 

Summers gleam sweat stains and grinding teeth

Nothing seems the same since ends won’t meet 

More bitter than sweet

Choke On a Fork

They try to tell me nothing's perfect
But there's better and there's worse, it's
Easy to see that nothing's worth it
When you're hurting, skirting round despair
'Cause nothing's fair
And I look round and nothing's there
Then I look inside and heart is where
Who knows? Who cares?
I'm scared, but that ain't nothing new
I'm overdue for death
But I'm not old enough yet
I'm upset but unimpressed by all I've managed to forget
And regret is like the pills I take daily to keep me sanely functional
But I ain't sane or functional
I'm under a compunction to keep misunderstanding ever second of this dumb shit
So what am I writing for
Act like I'm fighting for some dumb wish
What the world could be
I've been a few places but still got no idea what my world should be
So fuck this shit, nobody reads it
Fuck my shit, nobody needs it
No friends, life ends
No one gives a fuck about
Same old thoughts I'm stuck around
Same old thoughts just up and down
Game's been bought, I'm nothing now
Maybe I'll reach up from the ground
But right now I'm just drowning

On the tip of a waking match

Was it a dream of a memory? I thought, but then again it changed.
The light shining from a separate side.
A conversation, from memory, about a dream.
A memory of a dream, we recalled.
Talking about our dreams, and the way the layers fall.
Everything so blurred around the edges now.
What once felt so urgent.
How they burn the corners of every thought to make it feel so immediate
Then in waking how it stretches long and thin from behind my tired eyelids
Trying to think of the word for which there is no sound
Or find meaning in a sense of aching loss
Like a friend I've been meaning to call
I scroll through the names and the letters won't add up right
The bitter gnaw of waking
And I've sweat through my sheets
And my sanity

Neon Phalanx

We’re grazing revolution with our brittle fingertips

And breathing heavy in the halls of counterfeit love

Digging ditches for the bricks of politics

And scratching sidewalk chalk on down the highways of our hope

My ambition is desperation

My religion is uncertainty

I will not worship distance and ambiguity and power 

But I will sing the praises of the heathens with heart beats and stomping feet

I will tithe before the poor who don’t start wars and don't eat meat

And I will bow to no one until my ankles are cut with ballots

Toxic Crop

when all the bullets have sewn their toxic crop 

when all the cannons have fired and the bombs all been dropped

tell me when this never-ending war will stop

will we take a break from taking lives when enough people die

gotta give peace it's time, but you gotta make your own mind up

i'm not asking for utopia 

i'm not begging just to differ

i've been tasked by my conscience 

to do more than keep an upper lip stiff or

drift from romance to romance

or play the prince's pauper dance

a paper trance we all fall down

listen and justice will call out

while real heroes die for the crime of speakin' truth

whistleblowers locked and lowered by the kings with guns and bombs and loot 

little secrets leaked by keepers, i hope they never get caught 

while the naked emperor lies like lies are all the sense that he's got

i'm not saying i got answers

but the questions need asking

what can be gained from mortal pain 

on this mortal plane we keep blasting 

hospitals and homes blown by drones flown

by the heroes countin' zeroes down from tuitions they owe

looking for an out through the orders they follow

flying flags over borders, more propaganda to swallow 

i'm feeling hollow hearing news that again we abuse these tools

tax dollar theft, can't catch our breath, too busy drowning in debt

another scandal I can't handle, tell me are we great again yet

Open Wound

Someday this laptop will die
And take the files with your smile
I probably should have erased
After such a long while

Someday I'll be someone else
I think I already am
I probably should just forget you
But I don't think I can

And I still dream
Of seeing you and it's alright
And I wake
To another cold and lonely night

You've cut me too deep
I'll be bleeding through
In my memory
You're still an open wound

This town is drowning with time
The suffocating past
You probably shouldn't be here
I'm probably talking too fast

And I still think
Just a moment of your time and some honesty
Could make this
Right again, somehow you'll see

You've cut me too deep
I'll be bleeding through
In my memory
You're still an open wound

Is it too much to ask
For a moment of truth
Just 'cause we didn't last
Doesn't mean I didn't want you

I want you
I still want you

Someday this laptop will die
Soon this message will end
I should be asking me why
I even want to press send

here's your tie, sir

here's your tie, sir, lookin' great, no why i would never lie, sir, please try sir, to stick to the script we inflict on the old do or die, sir

here’s your endless war like an open sore that keeps pussin while we’re fussin with our credit scores

here’s your executive call, here’s your border wall, here’s your plate stacked tall with all that falls on more than casinos and shopping malls 

here’s your best intentions, failed to mention monkey-wrenches in passive aggressive short quotable sentences

here’s your no nonsense, non-PC, not for nothing but nothing much ‘cause only this much nothing comes for free, so screw democracy, chew hypocrasy like scenery and win an oscar for your media monopoly, your national debt, your imminent threat, your business demeanor scheming to deport dreamers, scream so you loud you don’t have to mean it but don’t forget to place your bet, ‘cause we may be lucky enough to live just to live to regret, not so ready, not so set, but tell me are we great again yet

What Are You Waiting For?

We’re all stumbling around 

With fish hooks in our mouths 

And lines to the sky tangled up in the cloud 

We’re all looking away 

Perpetually longing for something just out of sight

We wait for and wonder what could, what should, what just might 

Happen...like something amazing I guess

It might happen...something amazing I guess

Calisthenics

Even my imaginary heroes have all died
Even my closest friends have all lied
While the world spins madly on without me
And yet I wonder if I've been left behind
Or simply spared?

Wherever I Go (Version 2)

Wherever I go

Gotta take myself along 

With all the baggage that I 

Can carry on 

Wherever I stay 

I can’t stay for long 

I’ll stay up all night 

Waiting for the dawn, then I’m gone 

Whenever I think 

I’ve got this world figured out 

There’s always one more thing 

To hang me upside down 

So whenever I speak 

My fears will shout 

Over every intentioned vowel

And consonant, in a constant howl 

No matter the place or time 

I can’t escape my mind 

Or my past as a shadow 

All I can hear is an echo-o-o

As I grow older I find 

There’s never a good and proper time 

Never enough, never just right, never a clear-cut sign

And a change of scene 

May mean a whole mess of things 

But you can’t ever leave yourself behind 

Wages

I feel like I’m being held hostage by the establishment 

You should know I’m not trying to be contradictory 

just for contradiction sake

I hate when they say that no one ever changes

Most days it feels like that’s all we ever do 

When the only certainty is our uncertainty

While weapons of war are wielded so widely 

With words and wages and corporate cages

When it’s nightmares or this waking life 

I’m carving my name on this carbon knife

Hate Song

I could spend my whole life on hating them 

I’ve done it before and I can do it again 

Paint with strokes broader than the thought

Of everything they are that I’m not 

Till my vision blurs and my conscience ends

I could spend my whole life on hating them

I could spend my whole life on hating you 

I really think I could if I wanted to 

Assume you know how you came across

Every slight every sight of the light we’ve lost

Till there’s a canyon carved between our views

I could spend my whole life on hating you

I could spend my whole life on hating me 

Is it all that surprising how easy it seems 

Regret is my bread and the aftertaste 

Is the thirst I can’t slake from my past mistakes

Till my self-made wounds bleed red-water seas 

I could spend my whole life on hating me 

Think of all we could accomplish 

If we allowed ourselves the benefit of the doubt 

Thinking back, I am astonished

I didn’t think of this before now 

I could spend my whole life on living 

I could spend some time with you 

I could spend my life on loving myself

And learn to love you too

Wherever I Go

Try as I might to find a new kind of life, I know
I've gotta take myself with me wherever I go
Down deep inside my motivations or sensations I invoke
Can't climb above my position or restrict my body to evict my soul
I'm only on the outside looking in at my reflection
And as I stare there's not much there but misdirection
Pull the back pack straps that hold me as I roam
Gotta carry myself with me wherever I go

Stardust

I've been taught that a
Force in motion
Stays in motion,
Unless acted upon by
Another force.
I know this is
True, because you
Forever altered my
Trajectory.

Even now
You inspire me.
Even now
I fly on
The path you set
With our
Collision.

What a cruel
Serendipity
To think you could
So mark me,
So send me,
So spark me
Never ending,
And yet only to
Fire me
Away,
Always farther.

Perhaps, at
The end of all things,
The universe will
Collapse
Back in upon itself,
And the curve
Of eternity
May allow our courses,
Our forces, to
Once more
Act upon eachother.

Gatekeepers idea...

Just because you do not get it doesn't mean that it's not music
Even if it's not your flavor doesn't mean that folks can't choose it
I'm not the arbiter of an art or any kind of movement
Just another fool who falls for beats and bass lines grooving

You don't need gatekeepers if you're tearing down the walls
You don't need the police if there's not state or any laws
You don't need a degree to tell me if you know what love is
You got all you need to achieve peace and rise above this

Silliness insidiously sickening the slip and slides of
Systems which inflict their icky ilk with silky lotion lies

Five Minutes from Now

I’m a mess, did I overdress
My GPS won’t work inside this tunnel
Clearly I can see, my tanks on E
Hopefully that’s all it needs to stomp this rumbling
‘Cause I’ve been waiting for this day
Never thought it would come
And I’ve driven all this way
Still it would be so easy to turn and run, but...

Five minutes from now I’ll walk through the door
And everything will be so much better than before
Five minutes from now I’ll walk on in
And we’ll begin again

I scrounge between the seats
For coins to feed the meter
Can’t touch the cost of a cup
Of coffee, don’t much like the taste either
So I take a breath and push the door
Even though it clearly says to pull
And I take a step and then some more
Thankfully, the tables aren’t all full, ‘cause...

Five minutes from now, you’ll walk through the door
And everything will be so much better than before
Five minutes form now you’ll walk on in
And we’ll begin again

Business slows down, and I look around
Tasting the sound of the barrista’s stare
The sweat on my neck must look just like regret
And you’re not here yet, but I don’t care
‘Cause I’ve been waiting for six years
Hoping you would someday call
I’m sure we’ve both grown up a lot
You may not recognize me at all, but...

 Five minutes from now, you’ll walk through the door
And everything will be so much better than before
Five minutes form now you’ll walk on in
And we’ll begin again

Twenty minutes ago, you had said on the phone
That no, no, for sure I’d see your face
Another twenty or so, again I look at my phone
And I know, yeah I know, but what if I’ve the wrong place
I remember back to the day
Back when we were so damn young
Since then, you’ve pulled far away
I spent this whole time wondering what I’ve done, but...

Five minutes from now, if you walk through the door
I know everything will be so much better than before
Five minutes from now, if you walk on in
Then we’ll begin again

I’m not scared to admit that I know what this is
Biting my chapped lips, maybe I should call you
They’ll be closin’ down soon, I’m just takin’ up room
Was this plan always doom to fall through
How much longer can I stay
I don’t wanna text you too many times
I just hope that you’re okay
No need for a piece of my peace of mind, ‘cause

Five minutes from now, they’ll be locking the door
And everything won’t be so much better than before
Five minutes from now, they’ll probably kick me out
I don’t wanna think about

You said you’d be there for me always
No one ever means that
I’ll love you till my dying day
Don’t know how to take that back
I really wish I could have looked you in the eyes
But I confess, I’m not really the least bit surprised

Five minutes ago, I walked out the door
I think it’s gonna be much different than before
Five minutes ago, you never came
You should know for you I would have stayed

Five minutes ago, I got in my car
And I got as far as I need to be
Five minutes ago, I got the sense
To begin again 

Happy Pills

Well aren't we idealistic
Wearing purpose like a suit and tie
Inside the church of life
And bending our arthritic knees at the altar of a god with good P.R.

Well aren't we so optimistic
Tying up shoelaces
In knots of well-wishes
Yet feeling solipsistic when we sit in traffic in our anxiety-driven car

Well aren't we just so stable
At fault for all of our mistakes
Yet I bet all the credit takes
Itself off the table between our folded hands and well-stocked shelves

Well aren't we just so changing
Given to weathering weather
Only when we're together
So we'll be rearranging furniture so we won't sit too close to ourselves

Now I'd like to remind myself
That human is more than a setting on the microwave
Waiting for the sound of the pop
I can't stop thinking of all the time and souls I've saved

I'm not addicted
I'm not addicted
I'm not addicted
Haven't I always looked so glad
Don't contradict it
Don't contradict it
Don't contradict it
Those who are different must be so sad

How to Do a Spot-On Me Impression 100% Success Guaranteed [Expert Gold VIP Edition]

Run so far, turn around, and be surprised at any distance
Chase a dream, turned nightmare in closing in
Step aside into a line to be stepped on
Love with bad timing
Sleep in the ashes of old bridges
Learn to absorb sugar, drugs, vitamins, and bread 
Tire from moving
Tire of standing still
Tire of driving
Tire of staying back
Tire of running ahead
Miss them like pie slices cut from your skull
Miss every opportunity and instead, eat pie
Post poems no one reads
More sure everyday that no one would miss you
So sure anyway they'd miss themselves you hold
Pick fights with the weather

So Much (Lyrics)

There’s so much to say
And not enough breath
Or time in the day
Or life before death
But thoughts in the way
Of those I’ve too many
And why you should stay
I’ve reasons a-plenty
But no damn good words
Every sentiment sounds wrong
And from what I’ve heard
You’re already long gone
I’m just another bird
With just another song
And the empty spot beside me of the limb I’m out on

There’s so much about you
That I miss without you here
Don’t you dare doubt that I’ll always hold you dear to me
I wish you were near to me now

There’s so much to you
And not much of me
That’s solid or stable
Enough to be free
From old expectations
From when I was younger
Habitual hesitations
I’m under
With no damn good life
Like the one we once dreamed of
And I’ve come to find
You’ve gone elsewhere to find love
I’m just another line
In just another verse
You’ve long left behind while I’m stuck in reverse

There’s so much about you
That I miss without you here
Don’t you dare doubt that I’ll always hold you dear to me
I wish you were near to me now

There’s so much to learn
And living to do
More than I knew
When I was all about you
So much to live for
And so much to try
And so much for the past
That I’m leaving behind
And such wider skies
And such greater songs
And so much ahead
So much moving on
With just another day
And just another wish
And I hope that you’ve found your own meaning in this

There’s so much about you
That I miss without you here
Don’t you dare doubt that I’ll always hold you dear to me
I wish you were near to me now

Last Gasp

In the days after the world died, the ones standing graveside
Placed bets to guess the cause of death
Why some nation was raised higher than its people
And some people were raised higher than the rest
They kept to their own sides, divided so many times
Soon there were only lines and no people left
And their nations soon faded like the flags they'd paraded
Some slur-ridden slogan on their last gasp of breath

The Greater Boston Area

You take me light years away
Suspended, floating in space
Two stars fill my view
This binary system has transfixed me to the well of you

I'm twisted but I'm fine...AAH!
I'm sinking but I'm fine...AAH!
I'm freezing but I'm fine...AAH!
I'd blur out but I'm fine...

You tick me off like a list
Make me carry all I've missed
Lost at night in a parking lot
You stole my car and took it far from our usual spot

I'm flummoxed but I'm fine...AAH!
I'm stranded but I'm fine...AAH!
You're leaving but I'm fine...AAH!
You won't read me because I'm fine...

Horsing around at the comics store
Forcing a crowd to listen to this song
Eating outdated music like moldy fruit
Still hitting target I don't shoot

I'm not fine but I'm fine...AAH!
I'm not fine but I'm fine...AAH!
I'm not fine but I'm fine...AAH!
I'm not fine. I'm not fine.

Sick/Well

Don't let the trash build up

Don't let the laundry fall behind

Don't sleep too little or too much

Don't underestimate your time

Don't for a second think you're not worth a call back home or a space in line

You've got a future of your own and you'll be fine

Garrison

I can see the headlights
Shining in my rear view
You're still gonna pass me
Just wanna be near you
I can hear you singing
I can hear you swearing
I can taste your last gasp
So long, thanks for caring

Is this all we'll ever be
Passing ships in the night
Flashing neon lights fading fast
We close our eyes and try to see
Hands entangled in the dark
Parking cars we'd rather crash
Starting fires with tomorrow's trash
Feels like the only thing that lasts
Are our pictures of the past
It's our addiction
A perfect fiction