A Fire There Was

A fire there was
And is, I suppose
Still

Yet distance, the distance
Between, in darkness
The forest flight
Leads me away
From further light
And farther flights
I cannot fight
Anymore

For the fire's warmth
Was never mine

Though playful sparks
In the trusting dark
Did fly up alighting upon the trees
And light a place, my weary heart
To hope to help
And feed the flame
And burn away my older name

A convict's how
A wolven howl
The moon still hidden
Behind creeping clouds

My head hangs down
Cold off and alone
Far from the fire
I once had known

And loved so

And now wish

Who knows what

Perhaps the ashes I kept
In a pocket, secret, secure
Will keep me warm

Till someday
Perhaps I'll return

To the fire that was
And is, I suppose
Still

Though driven away
To the dark I may be
Cold off and alone
Far from the fire
I once had known

And loved so

Its warmth another home

Had I would feed it still

Though I wish

Not to kill its kindling
With overt indulgence

But in the cold and snow

How now I do miss it so...

Histrionic

The following is an excerpt from a particularly fascinating wikipedia article:

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.

They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others. Associated features may include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, feelings that are easily hurt, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.

People with this disorder are usually able to function at a high level and can be successful socially and professionally. People with histrionic personality disorder usually have good social skills, but they tend to use these skills to manipulate other people and become the center of attention.^[1] Furthermore, histrionic personality disorder may affect a person's social or romantic relationships or their ability to cope with losses or failures.

People with this disorder lack genuine empathy.^{[citation needed]} They start relationships well but tend to falter when depth and durability are needed, alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. They may seek treatment for depression when romantic relationships end, although this is by no means a feature exclusive to this disorder.

They often fail to see their own personal situation realistically, instead tending to dramatize and exaggerate their difficulties. They may go through frequent job changes, as they become easily bored and have trouble dealing with frustration. Because they tend to crave novelty and excitement, they may place themselves in risky situations. All of these factors may lead to greater risk of developing depression.

Additional symptoms include:

• Exhibitionist behavior.
• Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.
• Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.
• Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.
• Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.
• Excessive concern with physical appearance.
• Somatic symptoms, and using these symptoms as a means of garnering attention.
• A need to be the center of attention.
• Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.
• Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others.
• Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.
• Making rash decisions.^[2]

Humilit and Pride

Looks like ya called me out
My acts been foiled and my business brought way down
You say all my prayin’ for the city’s just playin’ for some pity
Somehow I still have my doubts

I never wanted your sympathy, sir
But perhaps some attention just to say
Could you please look the other way
Humility and pride, there’s no balance I can find like you

Looks like I’ve been found out
My masks all torn up and my rocket shot down
Just when I’d learned they’d built a bridge that couldn’t be burned
I heard that small crackling sound

I never wanted your argument, sir
But perhaps just a moment to say
Could you please let me out of your way
Humility and pride, there’s no balance I can find like you

So I’ll forget it, I’ll forget all about
Everything you told me to most recently
And even though I still can’t figure it out
You seem to say even then there’s so much more that’s wrong with me

I never wanted your heartbreak, sir
But perhaps just some kind words to say
It’s time I admitted I got way too carried away
Humility and pride, there’s no balance I can find like you

Don't Look Back

Between the building and the bleeding
We find ourselves retreating
Our souls softly seceding from this dichotomous view
And I am one, but so separately incarnate
For I am become one, but still not one with you

Between the balance and the backward steps
I cautiously and callously, yet somehow clamorously crept
Into a hiding place where I saw traces of the moonlight
Dimmed reflections of a damned imperfection
For I am now undone, around a corner, eye-to-eye

Between the breaking and the birthing pains
You take no note of what had till now remained
The specks in each my eyes you wipe away like a child’s tears
And I’m not sure of anything, still hacking off at bitter limbs
But you are surely everything that drives away my fears

The more I find myself by the tricks of this fatal trade
The more defined by empty mindsets, every gilded glint of what I’d gained
To lose much more in passing time and pass the time to watch it fade
I am a silhouette of something more, and only you now know my name

The Joke

Who are these? Your puppet-masters?
Oh boy, did I guess right?
Please won’t you get me out of here?
Just get me out of here tonight!
I don’t need another chain-link fence
That’s been painted picket white
Just to disguise all the barbed wire
That keeps us low and out of sight.

You’re so afraid of what’s been done
But look at you now, what you’ve become
You’re so afraid of what’s to come
But look at you now, shoestrings undone
and still you run
That looks like so much fun

Who are these? Your silent killers?
Oh boy, can I play too?
Please won’t you teach me how to fight
So I can be like you?
I don’t another useless lesson
In a morality long bereft
Just lead me out with gun in hand
With empty honor all that’s left

You’re so afraid of what’s been done
But look at you now, what you’ve become
You’re so afraid of what’s to come
But look at you now, shoestrings undone
and still you run
That used to looked like fun

Who are these? Your passive prayers?
Oh boy, can I play too?
Please won’t you teach me how to fight
So I can be like you?
In towers tall, with steeples taller
And pride that scratches God
But every time he scratches back
You shoot him ‘cause he’s odd

You’re so afraid of what’s been done
But look at you now, what you’ve become
You’re so afraid of what’s to come
But look at you now, shoestrings undone
and still you run
I guess it’s all for fun