Don't Want

I don't wanna sleep 'cause I hate my dreams
I don't wanna speak 'cause I'm filled with screams
I don't wanna breathe 'cause it's all too much
I don't wanna feel 'cause I'll break to touch

I don't wanna be shot down again
No, I don't wanna be locked out again
No, I don't wanna lose another friend
Right now I don't wanna be who I am

The Tourist

I’m a bored and boring tourist inside my own body

I’m so sick of the same old sights and traveling alone

I can’t speak the language and the food here makes me nauseous 

I’m done with this prolonged vacation, when can I go home

I’m the new kid in my head

Nobody here will be my friend

I sit alone at lunch and cry 

Got another detention, not sure why

All my regrets ring out like thunder

I want to hurt myself so bad they have to put me under

But I can’t let anyone else in 

Or they might lock me up again

How and Why

When they deny so fervent

I wonder how and why

If they simply forget 

Or if they know and lie

Like all my own abusers

They simply never saw

Themselves as venom users

Or in the wrong at all

You don’t need an excuse

If you don’t think it’s abuse

There's No Such Thing As Closure

Perhaps goodbye is overdue
I, a coward, and you with better things to do
The answers rarely appear, rarely sufficient, barely true
It's not right, it's not enough, it's still me still loving you

bldnplhnds

You can buy a new image, deny your privilege, 

hide your family’s lineage, compiling interest

dream of revelations, realizations, new each generation 

swallow all sensations, wallow in frustration, bury your foundations 

But damn it man, don’t you fail to understand, there’s blood on all our pale hands

Is it common sense yet/ that this violence is senseless/ not past tense enough to ingest a new perspective/ silence dense as border fences/ who objects to who elects to inject more nonsense objectives/ for days we gaze unaffected, hooked up to look for what the inflections intended effect is/ is it still a bribe if the incentive is effective/ is it still alive if the cells divide so reckless/ is it still a lie if it tells itself/ the feckless sex with the power to overinvest in our own selfish wealth/ and it’s all still a pill we fill up with the most, here’s a toast to your downfall and your health, bro

like confident queries countered by a wary stare into unfair, contrary, correlary pairs

Each map packed with stacks of facts that counteract what actually happened

Unawares, our nascent reactions tracking back to ancient tribal pacts, while there

Bold, tackling old habits like tensions flaring, intention sharing is rarely ever this very varied

Tragic that we drink up magic thinking, don’t blink or you’ll miss this titanic sinking

Don’t start or we’ll part ways without you, the art’s to doubt who you are without proof

Too aloof to, like goof, see eye to eye, time flying by and what happens is, like atticus

We act as if these shoes don’t fit, so we borrow a pair and walk around in it 

It’s only fair that now we’re drowning in alliances, encountering contrivances 

Dipping into daliances and daily dying just to try and feel alive again

Practical Contemporary Socioeconomics

What’s the use for you, you useless loser

Stop selling me excuses or a bruise or two’s soon in your future

If you’re not a producer then you’re a lazy leech consumer

Waitin’ ‘round for the day they say who? you? yeah, you’ll do, sure

But I can insure your poor ass, you’re a glass of pulp without the juice, you’re 

A couped up, stupid fluke of putrid puke who can’t even say “can do, sir”

‘cause your attitude is so acute, your latitude has pulled the chute, for

A hint, look under tasks soon to be replaced by a computer

What? you want something brighter or safer or cooler

Well you’ll take what you can get because beggars can’t be choosers

Get up, get in gear, break your brain, beat your bod

You better make something out of nothing out of uneven odds

Turning nobs or scrubbing floors or waiting ‘round to get robbed

What am I kiddin’ you’re just another good for nothing, sorry slob

Don’t you come back here again until I hear you’ve got a job, so

Get a job, get a job, get a job, get a, get a, get a...

No more pretentiousness, just list your references

Nobody cares about your wish list or preferences

You’re in the business biz, so find a business kid

‘Cause life’s expensive shit won’t come for lowest bids

And you’re a lowlife, it’s obvious enough you’ll quit

Just like you always did, so why even bother with

Lookin’ at higher hits, when it’s less hit than miss

And more intensive bliss, comes after mortgages

And your college’s degree might help a bit

But even masters sit and wait with patience, since

You entry level ants still needs experience

Forget all common sense. You better make amends 

If you make anything at all you’re barely makin’ cents

So get a job, get a job, get a job, get a, get a...

You can work and work and work and work all day

And if you even get paid it’s a minimum wage

No one living can say it’s enough to live anyway

So we pray in god we trust and bust our butts to decay

The Losing Side

A simple man of modest means

Seeking his dreams like he’s looking for lost keys

Stashed up with memories 

Of who he used to be

A rope tied around his throat

Choked out with doubt

Till he can hardly breathe

Picking at seams

He watches his friends leave

Their final words, obscenities

Rolls up the window, turns the AC up cold

And the stale air through his thinning hair

And the scent of the seats 

And the ache in his knees says he’s growing old

All told there’s mold under the glove compartment

Ever since he left that dark apartment

Ever since he left his heart discarded 

Started sleeping in his car again and spends

All his money on gasoline

And all his time on elegies for what could’ve been

He won’t stop looking but he never sees

Beyond daily atrocities

And the building bills and fees it takes

To make it in the land of the free where nobody’s home

As some simple man of modest means

Stuck in traffic on a lonely road

They say beggars can’t be choosers 

Still we’re begging just to get by

In a world of winners and losers

We’re fighting for the losing side