Understated

Love is currency
Sex utility
I guess I've gotten used to
The ways you're using me
Of your insincerity
I mean this sincerely
You can go ahead and
Fuck yourself without me

Shatter the Tendons of Some Amateur Aneurism and Shuffle the Razor Blades like a Fixed Deck Fiasco

I am the corporate lie you tell yourself to sleep at night

The constant sigh of rolling eyes and changing subjects

I reject your reclamation

I am the corners of your station

I am the comb that scrapes the scalp of a corpse

Suited up and made up to excuse your remorse

I am the hum you hear when you’re alone in the dark

And the sweat down your neck and your aching heart

I am the mites on the eyebrow raised in question

The timbre of a laugh masking your indiscretion

I am fear like the lock of a toilet that won’t work

I am near you, never touching, but always moving closer

I am the itch that you can’t scratch, but you want to

Yeah you need to, but you won’t, you 

Do what you have to and say it’s enough

I’m the violence on your TV that makes you feel tough

I am the catch in your breath like a sex scene in a PG-13 film 

you went to see with your mom

I am the comeback in the shower that always comes out in real life wrong

I am the sand or the soggy sock in your shoe

I am everything you hate when you see a picture of you

I am the common denominator in all your failed relationships

And yet you still think that this time it won’t be the same old shit

I am the tissue that rips, the heel that trips, the friend who admits

They haven’t liked you for years

If you haven’t figured out yet, I’m the you who gives into your fears

I am unstoppable, unwatchable, unquenchable, uncomfortable

I am the lie they told the teacher that got you in trouble at school

I am the ache of indifference, the soap scum of addictions 

I am a cancerous growth that shows up in your fictions
I’ll grow and grow and grow until you believe your convictions

Then list all your faults and failures while you lie in bed and must listen

I am the allergic reaction, the coward’s inaction, the dissatisfaction

The apathy of an abundance of distractions

I’m in your room, I’m in your clothes, I stink like only you can

I’m a steady, beating reminder of all that remains uncertain

I’m in your bloodstream or crawling up your neck

I am the stubbed toe of affects 

affecting your feckless treks with freckled effects

I am carnivorous, insatiable, immense and bruised and bloated

I am the nail between your nail and your finger and I linger

I am burnt popcorn, methane, ethanol, monoxide, manure

MANSIONS FULL

I’m a spore that lodges in your nose hair 

A rash that appeared out of nowhere

I’m THAT regret, yeah you know the one.

It's Not the Missing You

It's not the missing you
It's the not knowing you anymore
It's the ties that once bound
      Like we were two mountaineers
And the horizon so infinite
      Clouds like our fingers stretching and entangling
      And how the air thins up so high
Befit our grand endeavors
Our hope unending
The possibility
Of dreams
When a dreamer believes
In another
      And wonders upon wonders
A cycle of anything
Specifically everything
The ties that once bound
Turn frail in time
Like bodies do
Sucked dry of optimism
In an age of trauma
When the questions of morality
And substance
Hide their volcanic biding
No, time is no healer
And it is the missing you
It's always missing you

False Positive

Maybe it's a mistake

Every step I take 

Am I a fake 

And would I know anyway

For hope's sake 

I breath, my breath breaks

I face each day

Barely awake

Reciprocate, the gates

Slam shut in my face

Am I insane

Or ashamed

To blame

My own name 

For the stakes that raise

Their own hoorays

And lackadaisically parade

A frame, ill-fitting and arrayed

Like diamonds displayed

To hide the charade of 

Ten million takes

And give life away

For a chance to change my fate

Like brave, though I'm not

So afraid, what I've caught

May define all I've got

I've sought answers to questions I 

Can't even explain

My deranged fame containing 

Empty strains of neural flames

Bulging brains, genius untamed

And still unable to remain

A moment in time obtained

To hold infinity painted plain

Our lips blood-stained

Our love constrained

To stretch, reach, teach, lose

Gain

A cure for pain. 

More Unique, Less Perfect

It's not us I miss so much as you
Go ahead and tell all your friends I'm bad news
I guess I should be used to it by now
Scrounging through piles of clothes that no longer fit
To get a mismatched pair of socks
Dress up for the coffee shop down the street
I don't even drink coffee
Mostly, I sit and write letters in the form of poems
Formless enough to fake intent
Malcontent counting dividends
A roll of duct tape around my head
And a place to kick my shoes
Mr. No News
Good enough

Scuttle

Everyone just cut me out.
Some told me they hate me or that I’m awful first, but
Most just ceased all communication.
And it’s happened so many times,
I’ve got no one left.
Sometimes I can see it coming, and
There’s still nothing I can do.
But maybe it’s all my fault
- goddamn common denominator -
Is this such a weird thing, or
Does this happen to other folks too?
Those I care about the most
Want nothing to do with me.
I will be your friend till the end of time,
Or at least until you hate me.
Nah, even then. Even still.
It hurts how much I still love you
In such multitudinous devastation.
Fuck my heart.

Give for the Takers

I give my all for the takers
And I’m real for the fakers
Here’s my wound, you grab salt shakers
I’m a fool, you’re queen of the heart breakers
I’m rollin’ downhill with no brakes, and 
I’ll raise you like the stakes ‘cause
To keep you I will lose me
Feel useless, you can use me
I’m on your team, you never choose me
You grab me, hold on loosely
I drown, you sip like loose leaf
I frown, you smile so cruelly
I’m down so you feel higher
Watch as I catch on fire
You warm your hands and dance in smoke
And choke me till I die in your arms
Like no shit, I won’t admit what you are
I bought a gift for your birthday
Get nervous like I’m in third grade
We’re old now we get older
And response is just colder
This silence, I’m so over
But I still long to hold your
Hand in mine, I’ll wait in line
I’ll say I’m fine
I’ll love from a distance, you define
You decide, I’ll hide, I’ll ride the waves of craving
A moment of your attention
Please can you see my good intentions?