an abode to abide by

there’s a burning smell in the basement
and a scratching at the door
there’s a hollow sound in the hallway
that wasn’t there before

there’s a whispering echo in the attic
and the floors have all started to creak
the doorknobs are turning themselves these days
and the walls have learned to speak

the faucet in the kitchen is twisting
till the water shoots out like a jet
and the drops that drip from the shower-head
are barely enough to get your nose wet

the carpet in the foyer is browning
and the dust on the mantle is glass
I shattered it last night with a hammer
but the rock below had all turned to ash

the keys hanging up on an old hook
are starting to look all the same
and just above the number on the mailbox
is lettered out some other folks’ name

so i hide in a box in the corner
of the empty room just down the hall
and i hope they don’t return from vacation too soon
because this house has gotten far, far too small

Diligent, Pessimistic Idealism

I was chasing after the wind, but in my sorrow I begin
To see the futility within, I am truly nothing now
It’s all breaking down, breaking

Gone to bed, gone fishing in
A bigger pond than I can swim
Gone over my head in the undertow
Where I’ll wash up nobody seems to know
I guess I could say I gave all that I’ve got
Failure in this world, maybe the next is worth a shot
I guess I could say that I could’ve done worse
Buried myself so deep, don’t bother renting a hearse
I guess there’s always nothing left to give
But I’m too selfish for that

No wait, I'm not
Someone else took that hat
They've been wearin it out
With my initials on the tag
I'd like to sue them for it
But the paperwork could be a little messy
'Cause they look just like me

I was me once this week for about ten minutes
Lost it in a second, but I'd gained it in an instant
So who am I now to reconcile this dysfunction
Call me out, call me out, and then file an injunction
'Cause I will, yes I will, cause harm to this intruder, this false face
I'll rip his heart out of his chest and feed it to him on a paper plate
Then microwave his brains till they explode into black rainbows
(You better wear a hazmat suit; it's ugly when a brain blows)
I'm not kidding, I'm so serious, I'm sweatin it
The color of a life with too many regrets in it

I have to do this now, I will stand up before these witnesses
I scream in all their faces, you have no idea just what a witness is
Your majesty, your crown is made of plastic
Mr. President, your house is built on coke
If you ask me why I'm angry, you'll be so sorry that you asked it
Because I'll tell you the answer, I did it all for hope.

Bleed it, b-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed it
B-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed
B-b-bleed it or die trying
Bleed it, b-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed it
B-b-bleed it, bleed it, bleed
B-b-bleed it or die trying

I'd rather die living than live dying

Carboniferous

Tragic as the ocean air
As the tide goes out for the last time
He stands by the cliffside where
He can still hear her voice in his mind

On the wind, it begins...

Go to the meadows with her love on your lips
The path, it is smooth, but you'll prob'ly still trip
Her tracks are all fresh, but they're easy to lose
And her crime, it is clear, but still harder to prove

Swift as the howling storm
Rolling in on a small cave there out by the sea
To find his old love so starving and worn
But the law, it demands that he not set her free

On her chains, shining tear stains...

Go to the gallows with his love on your lips
Take care of the stairs, in the rain you may slip
The noose around your neck, with betrayal's harsh touch
But you look out and see him and still miss him so much

Bleak as a graveside
With no name to bear
He stood by the cliffside
And spread his arms to the air

A pocket of gold for the weight of his soul...

Go to the shadows with her love on your lips
The last name you say before you step off the cliff
Is the government's glory worth breaking her heart
The worth of your own to be a free man with chain-link scars

Paraboloid

These silent walks in the rain
Passing faces in cars that soon look away
Traveled miles to see if I could be sane
But I'm thinkin' maybe it's drivin' me crazy
Livin' here without you

As cathedrals of clouds roll in over my weary head
Slowly wake from a dream of you as if i'm risin' from the dead
When you smile at me, I think of all the better guys you could have instead
But I'm thinkin' maybe it'd be drivin' me crazy
Livin' here without you

I don't want to run into your arms
If I'd hurt you with a touch
But I could hold you forever if you let me
'Cause I miss you so much
You can hate me all you want
But you love me still with all you are
With a love that conquers every strand of loneliness
In my slowly mending heart

Calamity 2011

Don't tell me
This was meant to be
Some kind of sanctuary
Haunted by the children of the skull
Skin as pale as ashen snow
Eyes that bleed like shadow
Lips that whisper all the words you don't know
To a song sadly intolerable

Confide inside the violent
Shaking walls quick and silent
Reflecting a bit of light your eye lent
With increasing interest as the distance grows
Between where my heart learned
How to beat and how to yearn
And where I now ache and burn
Collapsing chest, my breaths grow weak and cold

Golden string, stronger than iron rope
Captivate a consciousness of my hope
As my world of dreams and waking run off and elope
Like all these bricks, just twitching fingers to crack
Interlocking intermissions lead to breathing
Intoxications of sunlit cement still seething
Your silence and your sighing, they say, don't mean anything
But the space between words is often much harder to take back

Collapsability

Starving to breathe
And still I can't see a thing
Too many see me as the bad guy
With wide open eyes
Can blame be only in the placing
Step back and trip up
Words are a crutch for a covering
The dark side of every smile
What hides behind perfection's stare?

Oh moon, does your sister love her own?
The star is a demon and her lover just a phantom of
Some haunting words you'll soon forget.
Adulterous star that scrapes the tiles
Claws that caressed the heads of babes
Grown into children of the skull
Running amidst the fallen fortress
Closer to home than we'll admit
And daylight can't come soon enough

Run faster through the fields, my love
Run faster toward your home, my sun
Sol to my soul, you sing words that are weeping
The clouds of your bedside where heartbeats keep beeping
And heartbreak is seeping and times we were keeping
All memories are forest floors and stages
On which we paraded a different love

Halfway there, I'm halfway gone
Some parts right, but mostly wrong
Almosts and what-ifs fill up this empty pack
That weighs me down and wears me out
Hanging loose over my slouching back
Under attack by misunderstandings I don't doubt
I'd rather run far from the shore
Than watch you wave and raise another sail
Yeah, I watched you break it, but I can't take it anymore
Don't wanna be just another footnote for your fairy-tale